I’m Nervous About My Boudoir Photoshoot—Is That Normal?

Feeling nervous about a boudoir photoshoot is completely normal. You're trying something new, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position, and you're trusting someone to photograph you in a way you may never have been photographed before.

Even when a client doesn't come right out and tell me she's nervous, I know there are often questions running through her mind.

How will my body look? What about my stretch marks? Am I going to feel awkward standing in lingerie in front of someone I don't really know? What am I supposed to do with my hands? What if I don't know how to pose? And probably one of the biggest fears—what if I don't like any of my photographs?

After more than 15 years of photographing women, I've learned that the best way to deal with those concerns isn't to wait until the day of the photoshoot.

It's to start well before it.

Why I Meet With You Before Your Boudoir Session

One of the main reasons I offer an in-person consultation is simply so we can get to know each other.

I don't want the first time we meet to be when you're standing in my studio about to be photographed in lingerie. I want to feel a little more like someone you already know and a lot less like a stranger holding a camera.

The consultation is very laid back. Think of it more as a meet and greet than a formal appointment. We can sit down with coffee, snacks or your favorite beverage and talk.

We'll go over your questions and concerns, hair and makeup, clothing options, the looks you're interested in and anything you know you don't want. I'll walk you through the studio and show you my boudoir closet, too.

Most importantly, it gives you a chance to see the space, meet me and understand what the experience will actually be like before your session day arrives.

What If I'm Nervous About My Body?

This is one of the biggest concerns women have.

You may be thinking about parts of your body you don't particularly love. You may be worried about stretch marks or how you'll look from certain angles. You might simply be wondering whether you'll look anything like the women you've seen in boudoir photographs.

You don't need to arrive knowing how to make your body look good for the camera.

That's my job.

I guide you through your poses, including your hands, legs, chin and small adjustments that can make a big difference in a photograph. You can read more about exactly how that works in my boudoir posing guide.

You aren't expected to know what you're doing before you walk through my door.

What If I Feel Vulnerable Being Photographed in Lingerie?

You don't have to walk into the studio and immediately strip down to your most revealing outfit.

If you're feeling nervous, I often recommend starting with the most casual or covered outfit you've brought. It gives you time to get a feel for the posing, the camera and how we work together before moving into anything else.

And lingerie isn't a requirement.

What you wear—and how much you choose to show—is your decision.

We talk about your comfort level before we ever start photographing. I don't push clients into certain outfits or poses, and I definitely don't require nudity.

You're the one who decides where your comfort zone is.

Hair and Makeup Gives You Time to Settle In

Your session doesn't begin the moment you arrive.

Professional hair and makeup are included with my portrait experiences, and my hair and makeup artist also happens to be my sister. She's incredibly easy to talk to.

That gives you about an hour and a half before we start photographing to settle in, talk and ease into the experience.

We're usually chatting about you, your life and whatever else comes up. By the time you're ready to step in front of my camera, you've already spent quite a bit of time with us.

It starts to feel less like you're surrounded by strangers and more like you're hanging out with people you know.

What Happens When We Actually Start Taking Pictures?

If someone is still nervous when we begin, I usually see that start to change within the first few poses.

Part of it is because she realizes how much guidance I'm actually giving her.

I'm not standing behind the camera waiting for you to figure out what to do. I'm talking to you, guiding you and keeping the conversation going.

Once you've experienced a few poses, you begin to understand the rhythm of it.

This is usually the point when the fear of I don't know what I'm doing starts to disappear—because you realize you were never expected to know in the first place.

What If I Don't Like Any of My Pictures?

This is another fear I hear from women before their sessions.

During your photoshoot, I show you the back of my camera as we go. You get to see what we're creating instead of spending the entire session wondering what you look like.

It also helps me learn what you love.

If you particularly like something we're doing, we can build on it. If something isn't your favorite, that helps guide the session too.

You're part of the process rather than waiting until the very end to find out what we've created.

What If I'm Not Comfortable With Something?

Then we don't do it.

Your boudoir session isn't about proving how far outside your comfort zone you're willing to go.

We discuss the kinds of photographs you want, the outfits you're considering and your comfort level beforehand. You're in charge of what you're comfortable wearing and which boundaries you don't want to cross.

I can guide you, make suggestions and create ideas based on what you tell me—but you call the shots when it comes to your body and your comfort.

Do Clients Usually Stay Nervous?

Not for long.

Nine times out of ten, clients tell me afterward that the experience wasn't nearly as nerve-racking as they imagined it would be.

And something else happens surprisingly often.

Once it's over, some women tell me they wish they'd gone just a little farther outside their comfort zone.

That's why I like starting slowly when someone is nervous. You don't have to decide before the session exactly how adventurous you're going to feel. You can start somewhere comfortable, see how you feel and make decisions as we go.

It's Okay to Be Nervous

If you're sitting at home thinking, I really want to do this, but I'm scared, I don't think that feeling is unusual at all.

It's a new experience. It involves vulnerability. And you're trusting someone new with something that can feel very personal.

That's also why I've designed my process the way I have.

The consultation gives us time to get to know each other. Hair and makeup gives you time to settle in. Guided posing means you aren't expected to arrive knowing what to do. And being open about the process means there shouldn't be a bunch of surprises waiting for you on session day.

I'm naturally very empathetic, and that's something I bring into every session. I want to understand what you're comfortable with, what you're nervous about and what you want from your photographs.

You don't have to prove anything to me.

You just have to show up as yourself.

If you're considering a session and want to see more about how I photograph women, you can learn more about my Tacoma boudoir photography experience.